saydoubleokay.blogspot.com

Back to blogger for the time being as tumblr is screwed.

A great beginning starts with a great ending.

Moved to saydoubleokay.tumblr.com

LINK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :D

Sorry laopa to move when you just discovered me today. :P

The more I read you, I more I felt I don't know you at all. The more I think your true colours is reveal, the more I feel like pulling you out. The more I felt like pulling you out, the more I realised.


I AM NOT A SAINT.

Haha, lets celebrate for your newfound "popularity". Continue being flirtious, and see what happens.


Maybe when days come and those unexpressed words tumble out of my mouth, it wont be accidential. I would mean it.

You won't have to change because it would have been too late.


*Winks. Frog, you know who? I bet you don't. (:


Wanted to go JP. Calling yq later. Lol. Officially broke. Nvm. Window shopping/slacking.

Wait. Needa study.

Got lousy grades and owe too much hmwks.

English B4 (Was A2 lor.)
Chinese B3 (Nvr hand in like all hmwk lol)
Maths B4 (HAHAHAHA, from A2. LOL. Anyw I suck @ maths.)

The rest according of order of report book subjects.

A1, A2, A2, A1.

My core subbies all B. -_-


Ah.
Had a dream. Pleasant one for me. Inclusive of unpleasant things.

I dreamt that daddy had a illegitimate child called... YuiChan? LOL. Okay.. But that was later part of the story. It started w/ someone else but Idk how the story morphed.

But.. really. I saw msgs on his phone that really scares me.

Things like, Father, can you gimme 100 bucks for bball jerseys?

AND NOT SENT BY ME.

Sigh. I hope. It was a wrong number.

But too much evidence and I dont want to think too much.

Oh yes, pleasant because. Idk. I shant tell you. LOL

Active on tumblr. Will blog here occasionally. :D

Read ball blog.

And I realised. I missed "Unity". I must admit I had never thought of it befr. Just thinking about "bonding". Right.

Off to reflect.

Good lord. Two times I cried publicly. Darn.

Darn my toe. Btw, I love bernard. He's veryveryveryvery cute. :D Love @ first sight. 8D

Mummy tried to clean my wound and gooooood lord. I was screaming and squealing. Not to say crying. I am having horrible thoughts like how it will get infected and rot and needs amputation.

...

-

When you fall down, you have 2 options.

1) Brave the pain and stand up anf you'll find happiness smiling at you at the end of the tunnel.
2) Lay there and whine.

And nobody's helping.

Time's a factor. It really matters.

EOY coming in 3 weeks. ): Why is this year so eventful. We don't need a pandemic to break out everynow and then, do we? SARS, Bird flu, H1N1.

Zomg. My results for CT sucks to the core man.

Almost all 1x one.

All my good subjects had got suckish results.

Chem is disappointing.
So is geog, english and physics.
Lit was a surprised because... I didnt study. Lol. 20/30, quite good for tyco alrdy? Althought 64% but who cares. I failed lit last year. LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

Anyw. I studied for ALL the freaking subjects I did badly in. Moral of story: Don't study to get good grades?

I worked hard for maths. Really. But still, the result was disappointing. Sometimes I face disappointment when I work w/ all my heart to achieve something. Only disappointment.

Life has this way of toying w/ you.

Ugh.

Lengthy post uh?

ANYWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I AM DECLARING I HAVE CHINESE IP FROM 7-9pm. Ohgosh, sounds fun but boring. Esp days aft trg. Thanks MsChang for the time because I am unwilling to spend 2-3pm and miss trg because you like to draggggggggggg.

Not like my chi sucks but... I don't do her hmwk. Sorry, ):


BTW, TO SOME1:

I can pawn you one-hand down. Don't get smug.

My love isnt that forgiving.

And no it isnt a lie. It's jus a facade that's fading. Don't keep me waiting.

Lost love is still love, it just takes a different form. You cant see their smile, tousle their hair, or move them around a dance floor. But, when those senses weakens, another heightens- memory. Memory becomes your partner. Life has to end.

But love doesnt.

BOGUS NOBILITY,

Hello, I didn't rat on you.

If that's what you think, haha, fine by me. It would be you being miserable. Me regretting my past. But I welcome my new future, a future w/o you.

The peace was a facade. It was me running away from my problems. Now, the problems are coming back into my head and I know, it's time to face them.

I would be a stronger person each time I fall and pick myself up and the best evidences would be the scars I would carry forever.

MATHS WITH PHILENE LAOGONG. DUNNO WHY SUDDENLY WE BECOME FUQI BUT WE IRRITATED MS WONG LOLLLLLLLLL. HAHA MS WONG SO CUTE :D

Studied w/ YQ. Stayed for night study lol. For fun only lo.

Teacher so shocked to see sec 2 staying lol.
But we humji and chicken out at seeing the seniors in the hall. Wahlao peer pressure lo. The only sec 2s. ):

Shared w/ YQ something :D I didnt feel better lol. But nevermind, I know the solution. But I am stubborn and I dont want to regret and I feel it looking back. Okay you prob wont understand. :D


Nvm, I wont fill myself up w/ hatred and scorn at all the love people are giving me :D


For the last time, I AM NOT A GOOD PERSON AND I KNOW IT. AT LEAST I AM MOST CERTAINLY NOT THE BAD ONE. YOU THINK YOUR ARE THE BAD GUY, YOU MAY BE, BUT YOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT THE BEST ONE. AND I CAN SWEAR, I HAD NEVER LET YOU DOWN IN THE FEW LONG MONTHES OF FRIENDSHIP BUT WHO LET WHO DOWN EVENTUALLY AND DURING THE TIME WE HAD. REFLECT AND STOP BLAMING ME BECAUSE YOU MOULD YOURSELF INTO SUCH AN UGLY MONSTER YOU DIDNT EVEN RECOGNISE YOURSELF ANYMORE. DONT BLAME ME BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME.

I am not whispering behind your back but I dont want/need to declare it to the world my views of you because I know you need your face. Ohyeah, now youre thinking I am acting noble. Fine. I dont care what YOU label me as. TYVM.

THIS ABV CITATION IS NOT TO CHALLENGE ANYONE BUT IF YOU CHOOSE TO TAKE OFFENCE AND YOU WILL, DONT BOTHER TRASHING IT OUT WITH ME CAUSE I HAD ALRDY WON W/ MY MORAL BELIEFS.

Haha, anyone w/ a guilty conscience will think I am talking about them. WRONG. But if you think so, ahha, you had let me down before. FOAD.

Oh yeah, last words. Have a fucking happy life, I am leading my happy life now :D

I need to believe I deserve to be happy.

Perished/gone/farewell/bye/haveafuckinggoodlife.

I was happy one moment, and blue all over now.

You, took everything away. But to think again, nobody can take anything that I dont want to give away from me. So, it's me again?

Nobody can ruin my life if I dont allow them to.

Nevermind, I had always known. Life is unfair. It is and it always will be.


HAH. Reminds me of sth Mummy said. 'When you see others in wrong, think for yourself. What had you done right?'

Very true. All I am doing is harping on other people's inadequate, flaws and etc.
Then I realised, I had never done anything right.

Is there a all-cure potion to solve all my problems and let me start afresh? I dont care if i would lose myself because I really need happiness in my life right now. Its like selling my soul to the devil. The question is, can I be redeemed?

Maybe not.

I can't forgive myself. I need others to forgive me first.

But to think again, Maybe I had underestimate the magnitude of [my/yours/hers/his/their/god/wtv deity]'s forgiveness.

I made people laugh but nobody makes me laugh.

I need a chance desperately.

Over the years, I have grown accustommed to your ways.

Broach the subject.
-

You are stashed somewhere in the depths.

And I know and can feel the darkness that resides within me. Need... to... suppress... it.





You know what? ASS STILL WORKS BEST. Bootlicking works. Hah, I am so stupid to live in my own so-called "righteous" and "holy" way. I thought if I uphold all this, I can attain happiness and love from others but I was wrong. Unscrupulous(not restrained by ideas of right and wrong) people still wins.





I had been a fool for 14 years. Should I continue to uphold my principle or let them down and forsake them for my goals? But it wouldnt be a true victory that I needed so badly.

Maybe. It doesnt matter anyhow. I dont want it to matter. I dont, so fucking get out of my life.




Ease the pain of knowing.

The hand from darkness took hold of a new victim. I dont want to be next. But wait, who am I to judge whether that hand is from hell or heaven.

God bless. Amen.

Roy shitted on Mummy's hand. Baked choc chips cookies @ Nuer's house. 1st batch was the best. Second batch was postponed cause we ran out of butter. Chilled it and yuk, it ruin like everything. My clumsiness got us mini chips instead of big ones for the 2nd batch and the dough turned choclatey cause we knead it too long and hence... Ohyah,

BUT WE MADE COOKIES W/ INITIALS. :D


G.I Joe w/ Jingyi and Yueqi on friday/ Fish & co. and lots of fun. :D Catching 'UP' w/ them soon!

Oh good, I am having so much fun these few days except that my father bitched me and seriously, he needs a life. Wtf is wrong with going to toilet before finishing chores. What's his problem lo. ZZZ.

Sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad sad BECAUSE OF. SOMEONE I NAME ROY AFTER. No such person called roy though. A total makeup name. Who would have a name like.... LeRoy. WTF. Its courtney's penguin name lo.


Webcamm-ed w/ YQ's lappy and wtf, I was the target. Pics up soon. :D Btw. I dunno what I am doing. -_- I mean seriously.

Sigh.

Loving the right person at the wrong time,
having the wrong person when the time is right,
and finding out you love someone right after
that person walks out of your life.

And sometimes,
you think you’re already over a person,
but when you see them smile at you,
you’ll suddenly realize that you’re just pretending
to be over them just to ease the pain of knowing
that they will never be yours again.

For some, they think letting go is one way
of expressing how much they love that person.
In my opinion, some are afraid to see the only one they love,
being held by someone else.

Most relationships tend to fail
not because of the absence of love.
Love is always present.
It’s just that one was being loved too much,
and the other was being loved too little.

As we all know,
the heart is the center of the body,
but it beats on the left.
Maybe that’s the reason why the heart is not always right.

Most often, we fall in love with the person we think we love,
to only discover that, for them, we are just passing time-
while the one who truly loves us remains
either a friend or a stranger.

So, here’s a piece of advice:

Let go when you’re hurting too much.
Give up when love isn’t enough.
And move on when things are not like before.
For sure, there is someone out there,
who will love you even more.

Don't think too much okay. I dont have a boyf and I dont need one. LOL.

WTFFFFFFF THE MANY F - FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. TYVM

I read someone's blog and I was so disgusted. Wtf, flirt. You werent like this. Bitch -_-

ROY ROY ROY ROY ROY <3

I adopted a 5 monthes old hamster recently. I hope I will never be lonely ever again. You are so far away.

I am sad.

WHAT A DORK.

I need to apologise to the world. Because I think, you suck! I hate you, world.

I am scared. I have never been this alone. Or maybe its me pushing everyone away. Masked. So masked.

I dread. I dread the emptiness that is spreading in my heart. I don't know why how who what where when.

Should I dread this emptiness? It made me let go alot of things. Regrets. But the scary thing is, I am letting go too much to this point, I think I have nothing left. I blank out everytime and nothing registers in my mind. I need a psychiatrist.

Maybe its a good thing but I think its a bad one.


Nvm, I have nothing left to lose.

Out of sorts recently. 'Recently' was 2 monthes.



Wtf am I doing. Tripping over balls?!?!?!??!!?!? WHAT A DORK.

The nights seem to be darker,
the air seems to be calmer,
the sun seems to be hotter, (which is bloody hell true! We do, we suffer. Globalwarming.)
the pressure seems to be heavier,
I seemed to be weaker.

-

Actually, I realised, my parents especially my mother had gave me alot to learn.

You know some times I have this urge to burst out laughing at ignorants who don't know the metaphors I use/profound words/idioms & proverbs/the moral code.

Really. Uncivilized people. Shame on you.

I learnt alot from life and I daresay, I am muchmuchmuch more mature than SOME of you. SOME of those who are still drowning in the sea of "self-assumed coolness", imbeciles who live in their own world, morons who think they are always right, bimbos who scream at paper balls hitting you and worst, those who think they are the best in this world and everybody loves them.

Ignorants.

Some of these people I knew had no idea how to deal with life problems. I had alot to give. I try to help.

But wow, they warp the idea of help in their twisted mind and assumes that I will always help them/stand by them/support their decisions.

Fools.

I do have indecent friends, and some do know how to live their lives properly.

Unlike a friend I had long gave up on.

In the time I was with her, I was the one changing, not her.

What twisted, sickened, warped ideas of the lot I had got from her.

Rubbish.

Then I realised, who am I to make somebody change. Why should anyone change for me?

It was then, I realised I will go. For my own sake. Thus, I promised myself. I will never ever offer help to anyone who needs it but doesn't want it. They can get help from others for all I care.

Why make my own life miserable with their problems! Where are they when I need them? From experience, when I need them, they will be either out shopping/flirting happily with guys/staring at their own reflections with any reflective surface they find/trying to make their skirts shorter. Or, they simply ignore you like they have not a care in this world.

Wow at all those hypocrites.
What a fool I've been.
And I did say, I only have myself to blame.

All my fault to be the one giving and not receiving in these "friendships" (hypocrisy I will say).

Like a soiled diaper, used and dumped.
Ditched. But nevermind.

I am sure you will not succeed in life. I am sure. But you will not fail either, you just won't succeed.

You just can't make it up to me anymore, because I won't allow you to. I won't make you go on your knees and beg because you won't.
I've let go, moved on.

Have a good life, ignorant fools.

I thought. And I thought. And I thought. And I laugh.

I thought I'd thought the best for myself.

What I think is the best, may not be the best.

I may let go now, but I also might regret in the future.

Just as like how I hate the sun, it makes everyone black.

But suddenly, I rmbed.

During trngs, I am not only the one in the sun.

Even coach is in the sun.

So how can I complain?

-

Very lifeless nowadays. I have this homework phobia. I mean really. Very very very stressed up. I need time. Time time time time time. For alot of things.

Time is imaginary, but time is present.

Time slips away like sand escaping through your hands.

Time.

I want somewhere where there is absolutely nothing (except air, duh.)
to think. Ah, those meditaters, very cool. They seems to be like trouble-free. (Alot more trouble free)

I want to think in an empty place where there is no people, no noise, nothing. Nothing to distract me from thinking.

I have so many problems to solve. Time is getting in my way.

There's so much yet so little time to.

-
Stephen, sorry :/

Regretted not listening to you. Nvm. Another regret. Nvm, I will learn how to live without them.

I don't want to live with things that will burden me. That doesn't mean I will lose my conscience.

-

Nvm, some things never change.

Anyw, I've banished dinosuars. Traces of them... are like a needle in a haystack. You won't even know if a needle is ever there unless you find. And I am not going to be that idiot to find it again and cheer for something that is going to prick you and make you bleed. I rather it stay hidden. Or best, not even present. Or my cows will die.

Lmao. You don't get me. But that's okay.

Extract the sadness.

Extract the sadness, inject the happiness, mutiply the love and divde the guilt.

Life is not this simple.

A new blog. A new me.

Hi, you found me. Lets blog some shit.